The Maxims of Manhood Presents: Manlibs by Max Biggs

Author:Max Biggs
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: ebook, book
Publisher: Adams Media
Published: 2011-04-08T00:00:00+00:00

22. PROPERLY ORDER A STEAK .

1. Something that a man desires _____________________

2. Verb _____________________

3. Adjective _____________________

4. Your favorite color _____________________

5. Noun _____________________

6. Verb _____________________

7. Adverb _____________________

8. Someplace you can stick your finger in _____________________

9. Adjective describing something that’s about to explode _____________________

10. Noun _____________________

11. Verb _____________________

12. Verb ending in -S _____________________

It’s not necessary to be a steak snob, but you should know the cuts, know how to spot a tenderloin from porterhouse, and know that you should never—ever— order your _____________________ (1) well done. Some girls will think you _____________________ (2) in bed. They think you’ll suck at doing certain . things. As my friend Amy says, “A guy who doesn’t like his steak _____________________ (3) and _____________________ (4) in the middle makes me think he doesn’t like anything juicy and pink in his _____________________ (5).”

Along with knowing how to _____________________ (6) your steak, you must observe these three additional rules of table etiquette, particularly when on a date:

No coupons. Unless you’re so comfortable with your date that you can _____________________ (7) belch or pick your _____________________ (8), it’s unacceptable for you to whip out a special for 10 percent off. A coupon saves you more than 10 percent . it also saves the $1 that you won’t be spending on a condom.

Get dessert. It doesn’t matter if you’re so stuffed, so _____________________ (9), that you feel like Al Bundy unbuttoning your jeans so your _____________________ (10) can _____________________ (11). When you’re on a date, you order dessert. It’s her role to want it but not say it, it’s your role to not want it but say it. Think of it as the opposite of sex.

Know how to pair wines. Don’t be that guy who _____________________ (12) at the floating “legs” or the “bouquet,” but you should know enough to avoid embarrassment.

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